I found this gem on a website called She Is More.
It is fabulous advice that I wish more girls of all ages – not just teens, would know and follow.
Definitely share this post with your girlfriends!
21 Lost Lady Traditions That Still Apply Today
Acting like a lady is carrying yourself with dignity, which also empowers a man to be a gentleman.
Many of us want a true gentleman, but I believe we hold the power to the way we are treated in our hands. It’s the law of attraction and common sense: If we want a gentleman, we must be and act like a lady.
In all areas of life, I believe being a lady displays self-respect, class, appreciation and etiquette. It also allows you to enjoy the niceties of life with the ease of knowing how to act in all situations. You don’t have to come from wealth or be wealthy in order to conduct yourself like royalty.
After doing some new research and also recalling my southern roots which included cotillion and etiquette classes, here are 21 lost lady like traditions that still apply today:
Manners:
1. If a man knows that it is etiquette to remain standing until you are seated, be sure to sit promptly as to not leave him standing too long.
2. No rude or shocking language, especially at the table. Your language is a representation of your mind and heart.
3. Don’t talk with your mouth full. I don’t need to explain this one.
4. She dresses tastefully: A lady dresses appropriately for the occasion.
5. Phone calls: When in doubt, a good rule of thumb is not to make phone calls before 9 am or after 9 pm.
6. She is gracious: She never just says, “hello” when being introduced to someone. She offers a kind greeting like, “it’s a pleasure to meet you” or “how are you this evening?”
7. She turns her phone on silent and puts it away for meals, meetings and church.
8. She says, “yes, please” or “no, thank you.” She does not say, “yep” or “nope.”
9. She gives compliments with sincerity and only when she means it. She does not say things just to say them. Insincerity is easier to read than we think.
10. A lady offers to help someone in need. Being a lady starts with how you treat yourself and others. She offers her seat to the elderly, disabled or a parent with small children.
11. She RSVPs promptly, reads an invitation thoroughly and does not ask for exceptions. She always promptly sends a detailed thank you note to anyone who has shown her hospitality.
12. She never arrives empty handed. Bringing a small hostess gift shows your appreciation for the preparation your host has done.
13. Her word is her bond. A lady warrants a respectable reputation purely by the consistency of her word. She always keeps her promises.
The Dating Lady:
14. Don’t call him, he’ll call you. A lady knows that she deserves to be pursued and does not do it or him. If you are in the position that you have to initiate contact in order to communicate, then you should know that you are not dealing with a gentleman and can move on.
15. Time frame: no one gets to call you on a whim to hang out. Your time is precious and valuable and you are clearly booked days in advance. Someone who honors your time will plan ahead and ask to take you out with at least a 48 hour request.
16. You don’t meet a guy anywhere. He comes and picks you up, especially on the first date. It can be inconvenient, but is it your job to make dating you convenient? No. The last thing you want to be is convenient. However if you are meeting someone in person for the first time, meeting in a neutral location is a smart, safe move. Always honor your intuition.
17. Curfew: Mama always said nothing good happens past 10 o’ clock and she’s pretty much right. So set the time you need to be home in advance and let your gentleman know about it ahead of time.
18. Appreciation: Being a lady and acting lady-like does not mean that you are entitled or snobby. Practice having a heart of gratitude and always say thank you for specific actions or generosities.
19. How to order: Have respect for your gentleman and do not behave with entitlement by ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. If he wants to treat you to a fine bottle of wine, he can order it or offer for you to make a selection.
20. Be a good listener and conversationalist. Put your phone away and be present. A lady is not boring, rude or dismissive.
21. Be prepared. If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover your date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on GoodGuySwag.com says,
“An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman always picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations.”
30 Characteristics of a Modern Lady explains that ultimately etiquette is the natural byproduct that flows through a lady’s character. These traditions are mostly common- sense that simply allow you and others to enjoy life more.
If this article intrigued you, please share to inspire others.
Related Post: 30 Important Things Every Girl Should Know
A reader just commented with another important point:
22. Sit like a lady. When sitting, your legs if not together, should not be so far apart that others can see your nether regions. You cannot expect to be treated with respect by others if you are treating yourself disrespectfully.
Excellent could not agree more. This brief dezgjnately needs to be circulated sooner than later.
Great!
Thank you!
Nice advice thank you.
I really enjoyed this article and I wish more women would understand that it’s not old fashioned to act like a lady…..it’s actually holding yourself to a higher standard. I will say that one of these traditions may not be safe. When I was single I had a friend note that until you know a gentleman’s true character ( this can take time ), it’s safer to meet them in a public place. The reason for this is that if he should act or say something inappropriate, you have the freedom to get up and leave, since you have your own mode of transportation. The reason for being in public is that he can’t really protest your leaving safely, and if he does you can ask the staff or security for assistance. Lastly but certainly not least……you shouldn’t divulge your address to someone until you’re quite sure of their character and sense of honor. It’s sad that we have to consider these things, but a lady should always consider her own safety.
Since I am older, these are the principles I was raised with and I think it is marvelous you put them out there. However, if you are meeting us for the first time and welcome us, you should not be hiding your eyes behind sunglasses.
Thank you for taking the time to comment! I want you to feel welcome here, and agree with your thoughts, so I waited to publish your comment until I had time to change my profile picture!
Have a wonderful day and I hope to see you back here again soon.
xo
Hello colleagues, good piece of writing and fastidious arguments commented here, I am in fact enjoying by these.
Please add to this list that a lady should know how to sit properly. I recently saw a subteen girl (whose mom is doing a terrible job!) sit with her legs in such a manner that her panties were showing–she had a dress on. It was a dressy occasion; however, mom has not taught her how to conduct herself like a lady when she sits down.
Author
Good point!
This was great – it really helped me! Another thing to keep in mind is that it is considered bad etiquette for royalty to sit with their legs crossed – that’s why you always see Kate Middleton with her knees together and at a slant. It actually has a name: “The Duchess Slant”. I’ve started doing this instead of crossing my legs. I either try to do the Duchess Slant or I just cross my ankles (which is allowed). It also guarantees that nobody will ever be able to see up your skirt! 😉
Author
Ooooohh!! Thank you for taking the time to write this! I need to stop crossing my legs – apparently you can get varicose veins from leg crossing. The Duchess slant or the ankle cross are both brilliant alternatives!
xo
Thank you! My Mother is the lady of all ladies and raised me as such. I consider myself very lucky; and better yet my husband was raised similarly and is the ultimate gentlemen. One that I stressed to my sons was the proper way to address and introduce others in regard to age, gender, and familiarity.
Author
I love that Tamara! (I also feel lucky that I was raised that way.)
I am so thrilled to have found your wonderful page, with such excellent points. This is how I was raised also, and in today’s modern world, being ladies and gentlemen with proper manners are more important than ever, and I try to remind my children, and teach my grandchildren as much as I am able when I get to see them. Thank you, and have a wonderful holiday season!
Author
Bella thank you so much for taking the time to write me a comment! Have a lovely holiday season!
Love this! My first time on your site! I am teaching this to my girls (and sons) almost to a “T” – with a few additional things like:
A gentleman or lady never says “what” or “huh”. Instead one should say “ pardon? Come again? Ma’am? Sir? Could you react that please?Excuse me?”
And “only trashy people throw trash” ( litter or gossip).
Treat the millionaire and the housekeeper both the same. In fact probably be more respectful to those doing thankless jobs making little money.
Above all respect and kindness for God, others, and oneself should govern all you do.
Being a lady (or gentleman) is a lost art and still appreciated even by those who don’t practice it!
Laughing loudly, singing, and dancing is however highly encouraged!
Author
Christina I LOVE these! I have always worked hard with my son and he has grown into a young man with fabulous manners. I think it is so important, so it makes me super happy to hear from you and hear that you care about manners too! Thank you for taking the time to write me a comment! xo
Superb and wonderful! Thank you!
Author
You are welcome!
Corinna,
This was spot on. In so many parts of this culture “being a lady and/or a gentleman” seems to have become passe. I am SO grateful that my Mother raised me to be a lady. Wonderful article, thank you so much.
Blessings on your day~
Cricket
Author
Hi Cricket,
Thank you for taking the time to write this comment! I too am SO glad that my own mother was really old school and drilled good manners, good sense of self, and how to be a lady/gentleman into my siblings and myself. I have raised my own son in the same way and am so proud to see what a wonderful young man he is growing into.
I think that when you have good manners and a good sense of personal boundaries and self awareness you become more self confident and better able to face the world. Also it is never too late to make changes and adopt these principals.
I hope you have a really lovely day, and thank you again for taking the tome to write to me.
Corinna
Something I remember was being taught that a lady doesn’t bend at the waist to pick up sonething she has dropped, instead a lady ought to bend at the knees so she may keep her body upright and not have her rear in the air.
Author
I love that! It makes total sense too!
Indeed …. I’m proud to say …. I have received many compliments in the past about my mannerisms . It’s a great reward of my upbringing . As we know we can fall short at times with the Worldly women carring themselves So Un- lady -like . I choose to be more selective who I spend my time with . I can’t handle a Clownish type & one who says … Yo’, Yep , Nope, who loves ya baby ‘ . I so agree in most cases this is Common Sense , yet there are intellengent , educated women & men who have very little ” CLASS” – Common sense! A true Gentlemen shall come Natural in the Intregity & Character of the man & a LADY should demonstrate herself through her actions of Feminity & proper Self Respect . I have witnessed boldness in women that give open invites to whom ever will hang out . UCK !!! There is a clear picture that their Immature & liberated . I’m not so sure many have a clue how to behave as a Lady nor as a gentleman . I desire a Christian Gentleman & will never settle for crumbs …. I believe in Fun , sense of humor , laughter & private – pillow talk but not in social media . I will RUN from Low -class , ill- manner behavior . I lose RESPECT . I just seen a Resturaunt scene in The Entertainer – he orders # 71 ( hi class place ) Waiter explains that’s the price ; so he orders # 9 & says we will share – I busted a gut . I actually had a friend like that & I could not stomach his demeanor & distasteful behavior . I was humiliated …. I’m conservative & considerate but that’s not even Funny ! Lollol 😂👎🏻🙃🤑🙄
I agree with everything except having a guy pick you up and not meeting him somewhere. In this day and age with many meeting on dating websites I always meet in a public place for the first few dates at minimum. People are not always whAt they seem, and they don’t need to know where live till they eArn my trust.
Author
Good thinking – I was actually just telling a friend yesterday that she shouldn’t let a potential date come to her house! For teenage girls it’s probably a good idea to have their date pick them up so that the parents can eyeball him. I know if I had a teenage daughter I would make the boy come to the house.
Apart from being antiquated sexist baloney, some of these are downright dangerous. Why would I get in a strange man’s car instead of meeting him somewhere and being able to leave whenever I feel like it?
She did actually clarify that at the end of the paragraph:
“However if you are meeting someone in person for the first time, meeting in a neutral location is a smart, safe move. Always honor your intuition.”
Lovely post, but I have to reply because of the matter ‘going dutch’ in remark 21. In addition to the explanation that is given, splitting the bill is a sign of respect and acknowledges that both persons are equal. It has nothing to do with being stingy or cheap, but recognizing each other as being ones own valeud person. And yes I know the English have always tried to talk this dutch first date custom down, but this is the true fact behind splitting the bill.
Thank you for reminding us all that each of us is responsible to create a gracious and charming atmosphere, and have fun at the same time!
I am an English lady living in the South of France, with my French husband.
I will not tell you my age, as I agree with Oscar Wilde: “If a lady will tell you her age, she will tell you anything!”. But, I am old.
My father advised us that when being invited out to dine in a restaurant, we should ask ones host whether perhaps you may have this or that dish. Only the host will then order for everyone with the waiter. Just a subtle element, but important?
This same gentleman acclaimed the golden rule that in mixed company only the ladies were permitted to choose the subject to be discussed.
Should I remember other little gems of my father’s advice, perhaps I may add a few more words later on ?
Thank you for reminding us all that each of us is responsible to create a gracious and charming atmosphere, and have fun at the same time!
I am an English lady married to a French winegrower in the South of France. I shall not tell you my age as I agree with Oscar Wilde: “If a lady will tell you her age she will tell you anything!”But, I am old.
My father advised us that when being invited out to dine in a restaurant one should always ask one’s host whether perhaps you may have this or that dish. Only the person hosting the meal would then order for everyone with the waiter. Just a subtle element, but important?
This same gentleman urged us to remember that when gathered together in mixed company, only the ladies were permitted to choose the topic of conversation.