I found this gem on a website called She Is More.
It is fabulous advice that I wish more girls of all ages – not just teens, would know and follow.
Definitely share this post with your girlfriends!

21 Lost Lady Traditions That Still Apply Today

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Acting like a lady is carrying yourself with dignity, which also empowers a man to be a gentleman.

Many of us want a true gentleman, but I believe we hold the power to the way we are treated in our hands. It’s the law of attraction and common sense: If we want a gentleman, we must be and act like a lady.

In all areas of life, I believe being a lady displays self-respect, class, appreciation and etiquette. It also allows you to enjoy the niceties of life with the ease of knowing how to act in all situations. You don’t have to come from wealth or be wealthy in order to conduct yourself like royalty.

After doing some new research and also recalling my southern roots which included cotillion and etiquette classes, here are 21 lost lady like traditions that still apply today:

Manners:

1. If a man knows that it is etiquette to remain standing until you are seated, be sure to sit promptly as to not leave him standing too long.

2. No rude or shocking language, especially at the table. Your language is a representation of your mind and heart.

3. Don’t talk with your mouth full. I don’t need to explain this one.

4. She dresses tastefully: A lady dresses appropriately for the occasion.

5. Phone calls: When in doubt, a good rule of thumb is not to make phone calls before 9 am or after 9 pm.

6. She is gracious: She never just says, “hello” when being introduced to someone. She offers a kind greeting like, “it’s a pleasure to meet you” or “how are you this evening?”

7. She turns her phone on silent and puts it away for meals, meetings and church.

8. She says, “yes, please” or “no, thank you.” She does not say, “yep” or “nope.”

9. She gives compliments with sincerity and only when she means it. She does not say things just to say them. Insincerity is easier to read than we think.

10. A lady offers to help someone in need. Being a lady starts with how you treat yourself and others. She offers her seat to the elderly, disabled or a parent with small children.

11. She RSVPs promptly, reads an invitation thoroughly and does not ask for exceptions. She always promptly sends a detailed thank you note to anyone who has shown her hospitality.

12. She never arrives empty handed. Bringing a small hostess gift shows your appreciation for the preparation your host has done.

13. Her word is her bond. A lady warrants a respectable reputation purely by the consistency of her word. She always keeps her promises.

The Dating Lady:

14. Don’t call him, he’ll call you. A lady knows that she deserves to be pursued and does not do it or him. If you are in the position that you have to initiate contact in order to communicate, then you should know that you are not dealing with a gentleman and can move on.

15. Time frame: no one gets to call you on a whim to hang out. Your time is precious and valuable and you are clearly booked days in advance. Someone who honors your time will plan ahead and ask to take you out with at least a 48 hour request.

16. You don’t meet a guy anywhere. He comes and picks you up, especially on the first date. It can be inconvenient, but is it your job to make dating you convenient? No. The last thing you want to be is convenient. However if  you are meeting someone in person for the first time, meeting in a neutral location is a smart, safe move. Always honor your intuition.

17. Curfew: Mama always said nothing good happens past 10 o’ clock and she’s pretty much right. So set the time you need to be home in advance and let your gentleman know about it ahead of time.

18. Appreciation: Being a lady and acting lady-like does not mean that you are entitled or snobby. Practice having a heart of gratitude and always say thank you for specific actions or generosities.

19. How to order: Have respect for your gentleman and do not behave with entitlement by ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. If he wants to treat you to a fine bottle of wine, he can order it or offer for you to make a selection.

20. Be a good listener and conversationalist. Put your phone away and be present. A lady is not boring, rude or dismissive.

21. Be prepared. If you are going out with a gentleman, he will cover your date. However, you should always be prepared to pay if the date does not go well or he forgets his wallet. The gentleman version of this article on GoodGuySwag.com says,

“An English gentleman never split the meal with his date. The English used the term “go dutch” in “derisive application,” as they stereotyped the Dutch as being cheap, or “stingy.” Today, the gentleman always picks up the tab, especially on the first date, and with no expectations.”

30 Characteristics of a Modern Lady explains that ultimately etiquette is the natural byproduct that flows through a lady’s character. These traditions are mostly common- sense that simply allow you and others to enjoy life more.

If this article intrigued you, please share to inspire others.

Related Post: 30 Important Things Every Girl Should Know

A reader just commented with another important point:

22. Sit like a lady. When sitting, your legs if not together, should not be so far apart that others can see  your nether regions. You cannot expect to be treated with respect by others  if you are treating yourself disrespectfully.

How To Build self Respect

The most important thing a girl can have is self respect. When you treat yourself with respect others will view you and treat you accordlingly. A girl who respects herself is an ideal employee, friend and companion. You deserve all the great things that life has to offer, and that starts with treating yourself with respect.

10 Ways To Build Your Self Respect.

Learn To Say No.

This applies to every aspect of your life. Anything, and I do mean anything you don’t feel comfortable with, say No. If someone wants you to do something that you don’t want to do, say No. Don’t give up your personal time to make someone else happy – if you don’t want to go to lunch or to the movies or to the mall, just say No. When you feel like someone is taking advantage of you don’t grin and bear it. Say No.

Set Boundaries.

When you are clear with yourself what your boundaries are it becomes easy to enforce them. Set boundaries that don’t let others steal your time. Set boundaries that rule how people can and cannot speak to you. Set boundaries about physical violence and verbal violence – neither are ever okay.

Set boundaries about how much overtime you will do at work. Set boundaries that you won’t answer the phone at dinner, or respond to texts during movies. Set boundaries about how late or how early others can call you.

Having a clearly defined set of boundaries is a crucial foundation in building self respect. Quietly and calmly enforcing the boundaries you have set is a sign that you are worthy and that you have a solid sense of self respect.

RELATED POST: HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE

Podcasts and Books.

Feed your mind with quality information. Don’t waste your life on reality TV – listen to podcasts on subjects that interest you. Read books on a variety of subjects including guides to self empowerment, to help you stay on track. The more you fill your mind with quality information the better you will feel about yourself.

Choose Who You Allow Around You.

Be very discerning about who you let around you. Don’t hang out with negative people, people who treat you unkindly, or people heading down a bad path. Instead surround yourself with positive, kind people who treat you well and are heading in a positive direction.

Treat People Kindly.

Self respect is equal parts how you treat yourself and how you treat others. Be kind. It’s easy, it feels good and it makes those around you feel good. Like attracts like, so if you are kind to others you will attract kind people to you. Treat yourself kindly too. Learn to only say nice words to yourself about yourself.

RELATED POST: HOW TO BEAT STRESS

Acknowledge your strengths.

Self respect means knowing what you are good at and acknowledging those strengths to yourself. You don’t need to broadcast them to the world – others will see for themselves. No one is good at everything, so rather than focusing on the things you are not so good at, and beating yourself up over them, put them in context and pair them with strengths. Maybe you can’t run a 3 minute mile but you are really good at conjugating verbs in another language, or baking pies or calming distressed animals. Know what you are good at and embrace those things.

Pursue Hobbies.

Get some hobbies and pursue them. Hobbies are a way to devote quality time to something you enjoy, which is a sign of self respect in itself! Blocking off time for yourself to do things that you really enjoy is a way of showing the world that you respect yourself.

Dress With Self Respect/Dress For You.

Only ever dress for yourself. Don’t dress to try and get a guy’s attention or to make him like you. The way you dress and the way you present yourself send out a thousand silent messages that in turn tell others how to treat you and what to think of you. Are you sending out a message that says you are willing, ready and able? Are you giving a message that says you can be compromised? Or are you telling the world that you are comfortable in your own skin and know what you’ve got, but only the chosen get to see it? Dress yourself with respect.

RELATED POST: 21 LOST LADY TRADITIONS THAT STILL APPLY TODAY

Set Standards.

Raise the bar high! Set high standards for yourself and for everything in your life, and then work to achieve and maintain those standards. Set standards for behavior you will accept in others and in yourself. You will be amazed at how many people will raise themselves up to meet you, and in the process the ones that were dragging you down will drop away. The ultimate sign of healthy self respect is holding yourself to a high standard.

Do not engage in gossip.

Gossiping is the opposite of holding yourself to a high standard. Gossip is about making yourself feel good by demeaning another person. If you have self respect or if you are building your self respect, excuse yourself from any conversation that involves gossip. In fact, make a habit of shutting down any conversation that involves gossiping about other people.

 

She remembered who she was and the game changed” Lalah Deliah

image from Luca Magazine, photographed by Brad Olson

International Women’s Day is March 8th, so here on the blog I’m spending the week celebrating the empowerment of women. Yesterday it was 10 Ways To Boost Your Self Confidence, today I have 10 powerful tools to help you beat stress in your life.

Stress is an energy vampire. It sucks the life right out of the joy you are supposed to be living. We all face stressful situations in our lives, no one is immune. In life there will always be another bump in the road ahead, so we might as well build our skill set to manage it.

The situation we face is not the issue, the issue is how we react to, process and deal with the situation. Beating stress, getting out in front of stress, comes down to having the right tools up your sleeve.

 10 Powerful Ways To Totally Beat Stress

Breathe.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation use your breath to calm yourself. Breathe in through your nose to a count of 10, hold it for a count of 10, blow it back out to a count of 10. Your body can’t focus on being stressed and deep breathing at the same time!

Do Yoga.

If you start your day with sun salutations you set up your whole day to function with balance and calm.

RELATED POST: 1o EASY WAYS TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT

Take a Walk.

Unplug your devices, turn off your phone, clear your mind and take a walk in the park. When you step outdoors and create a space in your mind the Universe will race to fill it with something, most often the solution to your problem!

Meditate.

You don’t have to sit on the floor with crossed legs and palms pressed together – you can meditate any way that works for you. Even if you just meditate 10 minutes per day you will change your life for the better and gain the mental strength to calm your thoughts in moments of stress.

 

 Focus on the funny.

You can’t be busting out laughing and be stressed at the same time. Your brain will make you pick just one, so choose the funny! Think about the most hilarious moments in the funniest movies you’ve ever seen and let your laughter lighten the moment.

You Are What You Eat.

Processed foods, sodas, sugars and alcohol all make stress worse. Eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water and avoiding all the bad stuff can help you get through life’s stressful moments

RELATED POST: 21 LOST LADY TRADITIONS

Sleep.

Lack of sleep not only makes coping with stress more difficult but can also be a stress trigger. Make sleep a priority in your life and try to get 7 to 8 hours sleep per night.

Listen To Podcasts/Ted Talks

You get to choose what you fill your mind with when you are commuting to work, working out, walking the dog or going about your life, so fill it with something good! Listen to empowering podcasts and Ted Talks, and hear the stories of regular people who have overcome all kinds of obstacles and gone on to do great things. If you keep your mind inspired it will naturally seek out solutions and spend less time on stressing.

Use The 5 Year Rule.

Stress makes us lose perspective. In the moment it can feel cataclysmic, but in reality most of it is just a waste of energy and time. As you face a stressful situation ask yourself if this will matter in five years’ time. Will you care about this five years from now? Probably not. Try to remember things that stressed you out 5 years ago – most, if not all of them will seem like a complete waste of time and energy now.

RELATED POST: 30 IMPORTANT THINGS THAT EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW

The Mantra I AM.

Everyone needs a mantra, a series of words to string together and repeat over and over as we breathe our way out of stress, quiet our minds and deal with the situation at hand. The most empowering words you can use are the very simple but very true I. Am. Because You Are.

All images courtesy of Blake Bonillas, www.blakebonillas.com