image by Brad Olson

I love The Zoe Report. It arrives in my inbox each day and is full of fabulous fashion and wonderful articles.

This one arrived recently, and I think it is something you need to share with all the young women in your life.

The 5 Life Lessons To Teach The Young Women In Your Life

by Sari Anne Tuschman April 19, 2017

We live in a world where women’s rights are at the forefront of the media. It has become increasingly clear that it is more important than ever to make sure we are teaching the next generation of women that they can be anything they want to be. After all, you can tell a little girl she can be the president of the United States, but that doesn’t mean she will believe it. And why should she? There hasn’t actually been a female president of the United States yet. That coupled with the fact there is still a very real gender wage gap in the workplace means it’s essential that young girls are raised with confidence and the knowledge of how to take on this still very much male-dominated world.

So what can you do as mothers, aunts, friends, mentors and, yes, fathers to make sure the little girls in your life bust through glass ceilings and stand up for themselves, no matter how tough the bullies they combat? You can teach them a few meaningful lessons that will serve them well as they make their way through this imperfect world. Here, the five things you should teach each young woman in your life so she knows the world is her oyster.

Stop Saying “I’m Sorry”

Many women strive to please and, in doing so, find themselves taking blame for things they can’t control. Teaching female members of the younger generation that there is no way to make everyone happy—no matter how much they want to—is a key life lesson. Apologizing should be saved for when you have actually made a mistake; it shouldn’t be a hobby. When little girls apologize for things that aren’t their fault, stop them and make sure they know that saying “I’m sorry” is for when they’re wrong, not just when they’re present.

You Can Do Anything

It sounds simple, but making sure the little girls in your life know they can be anything—anything at all—is imperative to them believing it. They will meet obstacles and roadblocks along the way, but knowing they are supported and believed in can make all the difference. How will they know that? Tell them. Tell them they can be the president of the United States, the CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a tech entrepreneur. They should know that nothing is off limits to them. Telling them over and over will hopefully cause them to come to believe it, which is often half the battle. It’s amazing the things we can dream about and ultimately achieve if we are encouraged.

Sports Are Badass

This may sound like a strange one, but knowing how to play certain sports—particularly “lifetime” ones like skiing, golfing and tennis—can alter the way men regard women. “Keeping up with the boys” (or sometimes being faster and much better than said boys) can create an attitude shift in the way a man looks at a woman. Sad as this may be, a man often has more respect for a woman once he is afraid she might be better than him at something. If the young female in your life shows an interest in a sport that will allow her to win in more ways than one, encourage her, challenge her and remind her there is nothing unfeminine about being a badass.

Pretty Is Just An Adjective

You can say this one till the end of time, but we still live in a society obsessed with looks, youth and weight. You can tell the little girl with the bump on her nose or the round belly or the strong legs that none of those things matter, but she will look around and find you difficult to believe. That’s a fact of life and not one that will likely change anytime soon. But it’s still imperative to remind little girls that being the prettiest girl in school is not something to strive for—it’s not an actual achievement. And once these little girls grow into women, they may realize for themselves that often the most amazing men aren’t married to the most gorgeous wives. And even girls with perfect noses, flat bellies and long legs have problems too—everyone does. There is no perfect face, body or life. It can look that way from the outside, but there isn’t. Do your best to make sure the little girl in your life knows she’s pretty in her own perfect way and that how she treats others is the fastest way to be perceived as beautiful in the eyes of others.

Partners Don’t Equal Happiness

Teaching little girls to be independent may be the most important lesson on this list. Having an awesome partner is, well, awesome, but a woman has to be an awesome person to have an awesome partner. The ability to be comfortable on her own is the single most powerful—not to mention attractive—trait a woman can have. If a girl spends her life searching for a mate, she will miss a lot of the joy and fun that comes from the independence of being alone. And she will lack the self-confidence that derives from spending time on one’s own, not to mention the knowledge that comes with it. Worse yet, she may not feel happy until she’s paired up, and that’s no way to walk through this precious and short life. Making sure the young women around you know a partner should uplift them—not define them—is one of the most empowering lessons of all.

The beginning of a new year is the ideal time to re-assess everything you have going on financially. We all spend to much in December, blow our diets, get completely side tracked. Now that we are in January it’s time to get back on track, set new goals and get the money equation working again.

Here is a post from CareerGirlDaily that is well worth checking in on throughout the year ahead.

8 Money Questions To Ask Yourself Regularly

By McKenzie Allyshia for CareerGirlDaily.com

Money affects almost every single aspect of our lives. With money being so essential, you would think that we would spend more time trying to save it. However, we often find ourselves dedicating more time finding ways to spend it.

Knowing and understanding your budget is crucial to being and feeling financially stable. Which is an amazing feeling! Finding ways to increase your income and decrease your debt will allow you to feel that financial freedom. Answering the following questions can also help you prepare for large expenses such as buying a house or a new car.

1. What is my monthly budget?

If you don’t currently live by a monthly budget, you should. A good way to figure out what you should be spending each day is to use an app like Daily Budget, you can input regular income and expenses, saving goals and daily spends like coffee and it’ll tell you how much you have to live on. It’s great to stick to a budget.

2. How much debt do I have and how can I decrease the amount?

From student loans to credit card bills, put a number on your debt and try to factor in a way to repay it bit by bit. Forgetting about debts or putting them off until later can be dangerous, as some debts only grow the longer you leave them.

3. What is my credit score and how can I improve it?

There are lots of ways to check your credit score online, make sure you’re using a reputable website and don’t be afraid to get a couple of opinions. Your credit score is important, a good credit score gets you good insurance, interest rates, mortgage and renting deals and is important when applying for a credit card. So there’s always time to look into it.

4. Do I have at least three month’s worth of expenses in my savings account?

For most of us, the answer is no. Now is the time to collect that buffer, if something happens, an unexpected expense pops up or you need cash quickly, this will save you getting a loan. Don’t worry, though, you can easily save with the 50-20-30 rule.

5. What are some poor money habits I can get rid of?

We all have them, spending as soon as we get our paycheck, buying things we’ve only just seen as opposed to something we’ve wanted for a long time. Treating yourself is only natural, we all like a treat from time to time, but there are always areas of improvement. If you’ve found your account running on empty more often than not, perhaps you need to keep a closer eye on your account every week.

6. What do I want to save for in the coming year?

Plan a savings goal, a pair of Chloe boots, a trip, but plan to save a little more than is needed. Whether it’s something sensible like your own place or something spontaneous like a summer holiday, be careful and be frugal.

7. How can I increase my income?

Ok, so this might be a tough one. Is it time to ask for a raise? Do you have to work extra hard on your own business to make more money? Or is it time for a career change? If you want to increase your income, this could be the time to have the conversation with your manager.

8. Where do I want to be in one year’s time?

By December 2017 you’ll be in a position to evaluate your finances all over again, so what questions do you want to be asking yourself then? What do you want to have in your account, do you want to be the queen of savings? Do you want to have finally paid off your debts? New Year’s Resolutions are important, but don’t forget to set a money goal, too!

Answering these questions should ignite your critical thinking and get you on the right track to financial stability. Are these the only questions you should ask yourself? Absolutely not! However, it is a great start.

So how was your Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/whatever you celebrate? My clan are Christmas celebrators, and we had a good one.
It has been so nice to finally get a break and just stop. One of the things I love about the Christmas break is curling up on the couch with a good book.

I do believe the book I just finished (minutes ago!) is essential reading right now for all females living in the west.

The Girl Who Escaped ISIS: This Is My Story by Farida Khalaf is an incredibly important book.

On some level I think that we in the west, with our comfortable lives, our busy lives filled with work stress, our exhausting lives, our complicated lives, our simple lives, we don’t really connect to the absolute horror of what is happening to women in other parts of the world.
We see the reports of women being taken by ISIS and sold into slavery and sexual abuse and we find it awful and offensive, but the actual reality of the lives and communities that are destroyed, the devastating reality of what actually happens, doesn’t necessarily hit our stream of consciousness.

I am so ashamed to admit that when I would hear about it on the news I would think “oh God how awful!!”, but then I would think about something else, and not necessarily connect to the full force of what was happening to these girls.
I’m not ashamed to admit that this book had me in tears, and now that I’ve finished reading it I am sitting here just shell shocked.

Farida Khalaf is a Yazidi girl from northern Iraq. She excelled at school, particularly in mathematics, and had been thrilled at the prospect of becoming a math teacher when she finished school.
She was close to her parents and siblings. She had friends and relatives and a strong community living all around her.
Farida and her family were living a lovely, normal life.

And then in the late summer of 2014 ISIS attacked her village.
All the men and many of the boys were taken and killed in the school yard, and the girls were taken and sold into slavery.
The 9 and 10 year olds fetching the highest prices. (Let that sit with you for a minute.)

Farida was transported and held in a slave market in Syria, from where she was sold and resold to ISIS soldiers, over and over, brutalized to near death, then eventually sold to an ISIS camp in the middle of the desert.

Farida tells her story in devastating yet crucial detail. Somehow despite soul crushing abuse and torture she is able to maintain her resilience, find hope, and ultimately plan and execute an against all odds escape for both herself and 5 of the other girls held captive with her.
Her bravery should inspire you. And devastate you.

Freedom has it’s burdens for Farida too. The girls who do make it to the relative safety of refugee camps are shamed for having lost their virtue. They have to deal with sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies and the trauma of what has happened to them.

There are multiple reasons to read this book.
This memoir lets Farida make sure that what happened to her was not for nothing. It is a way for her to make you see what ISIS really is, and to let them know they didn’t break her spirit.
It is a way for you to see what is happening over there and to find a way to help.

You need to read this book.

“As gripping as it is appalling…a compelling testament to the suffering of ordinary people caught up in violence far beyond their control—and to the particularly terrible price it exacts from women.” —The Guardian

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